Ending of '08 vrs. Beginning of '09

So, it's been a while since I've updated, but a lot has happened.
Let's back up to the week of my birthday.
I went to Twin Falls for the day and spent time with my best buddy Erica, went to Ben and mine's waterfall and tortured myself, and spent a couple of hours talking to Val. She is great. I love having so many second moms that have all been amazing when it comes to advice...that is something that I was blessed with. Good friends. I have so many people I can turn to if my life ever falls apart...
Ah yes, moving on...while I was out of town, and ex of mine drove down to my house and planned on proposing to me. When I got back in town, I respectfully declined, and then later got in a fight with Ben about it. Lovely.
Moving on...Thanksgiving was eventful, I'll have to put a post about that with pictures...it rocked. I played noodle hockey with my cousins, and loved every minute of it.
So, then brings us to December. Since my birthday due to the fight with Ben, and my realization that he drove me insane, I didn't speak a word to him, and labeled him as "Do Not Answer" in my phone...which apparently was pointless, because he never called.
I guess the military keeps you busy, and so, he just disappeared...all the way until he came home for Christmas.
The original plan was to avoid him completely, but, when you've been in love with someone for as long as I have been in love with Ben...it was impossible. I told myself to stand my ground, but next thing you know we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together, he went to my cousins house for Christmas, got me the most amazing gifts...
Okay, so on a side note, I have to tell you about one of the gifts. So, Ben and I both wanted CTR rings for Christmas, because his was old, and I went from a size 8 ring to a size 6.5 - 7 ring, so mine didn't fit. So, ages ago, Ben asked, "Well, is there a particular design you want?" And I said, "No, just pick out whatever you think I'd like. I trust your judgement, and you know me better than anyone" ...so, I asked him if there was a certain type he'd like, and he said the same thing I did. So, it turns out, we both bought each other the same ring. He just got me the female version, and I got the male version....which goes on our long list of "random coincedences" which, anyone would see as obvious signs that we're perfect, but of course, Ben is a stubborn jerk.
Anyway, moving on....next thing you know I was back to cuddling under blankets with him, and spending every moment with him....something I told myself I wasn't going to do.
So, moving forward...Ben decides somewhere in this to pursue another girl, who has totally played him before, and I was left once again crushed, so, to spite him, I started seeing his roommate. First off, I have learned now that you shouldn't start dating someone to get back at someone. BAD MOVE.
So, things were going "okay" with his roommate, until I found out that he was "friends" with Ben's ex wife while I was sort of seeing him...needless to say, I learned my lesson.
Moving along, I also met this nice guy Brent somewhere in all of this, and went on some dates with him, and really liked him, but since I'm a sucker for guys with baggage, apparently I reminded him to much of his ex...so it didn't work.
So, to summarize so far, I've seen about 5 different guys from November to December in hopes of getting off the Ben thing, and I'm still stuck on it. ARGH. I'm totally kicking myself for it too.
So...in comes January. I spent New Years Eve with Ben's roommate...(before I realized he was a jerk) and since the new year began, I have been super sick, my doggie passed away, my uncle has skin cancer, and this stupid jerk who I went on a date with a couple of years ago wants to take me to court. (Quick Summary: the date ended bad. The cops busted in on a guy trying to rape me and beat the snot out of me...not pretty)
Well, this guy is now trying to take me back to court saying I attacked him. Nice right?
So, now, I'm single. Thank goodness. I'm SO DONE with guys and their jerkish ways. May be going to court, sick, missing my dog, trying to keep my uncle sane, and needing a vacation SO BADLY. Ah yes, and in a month, Ben leaves for Korea for a year. Which is a good/bad thing. Good because hopefully, after 7 years I can finally get over him and move on...not bloody likely, but there's hope....Bad because, I will worry about him so much...I don't like the idea of that much distance being between us. I barely survived the 4 months...a year is going to be alot. This would be so much easier if I didn't care so much....but I've taken on the role of the one that will always love and care for him, and have had that role for so long, that it's hard to walk away. It's like a mom watch their child go for their first day of school. You know they need to do it, and you know it will be good for them, but it still doesn't make you worry any less. Ugh.
So, there's my quick summary, and I'll have to put my holiday pics up soon.
Much love to you all.