A day in Twin Falls...

So.....not sure why everytime I upload these 2 pics, they keep flipping sideways, but oh well, I guess they'll stay that way...still cute though.

Shadows.

So....Gabe and I spent the day in Twin Falls. I love that town, and if I wasn't on such a time crunch, I'd type more about the trip, but until I get around to it, here's some highlights.

A cool waterfall pic

I really like this one, even if my face does look fat.

An abstract one.

Smoochies. :)

A cool pic Gabe took.

In front of the Twin Falls temple.

Playing in the water.

My hair was insane

A FREAKING AWESOME pic that Gabe took!

He is such a good photographer as well. I guess it helps that we're both photogenic....

Either way, it was a good time....and I miss him. :(

Some of my favorite pics...

It's been a while...

Gabe sitting at lunch

One of my favorites...his dimples are cute.

I love his face!

In the Kuna caves, at 3 in the morning.

A cheesy shot at karaoke.

...So, as for the crazy relationship junk....I'm pretty much stuck on Gabe.

He's great.

I wish you all could meet him....

but since you can't,

I'll just spam your computer with pictures of our happy gross-ness.

Lol.

So...I find myself in love....with 2 different people...both brothers....HELP!

So, I'm not sure how it happened, but it did.

Ben has been home for the last month, and his younger brother is now home from his mission, and somewhere in all of this, I fell for them both pretty hard...and for different reasons...

Well, I've always been nuts about Ben, that's a given, and he has been really sweet while he's been home, more than ever....and then there's Gabe, who I don't have 8 yrs of rocky times with, who picks up Ben's good qualities, but none of his bad ones...

Fortunately, Ben leaves on Sunday, so it might be easier to figure things out then....but....as of right now, I'm basically smitten with both....it stinks....I mean, on the plus note, I have two good looking, funny, super sweet guys who crave my attention, but on the downfall, I like them both...and this isn't going to work for too long...

So, here's some videos and pics, and you guys can decide.....ha ha

This is Ben and I singing "Lookin For a Good Time" by Lady Antebellum. We basically rock at this song. It was so much fun singing it with him, and it's these moments that make me love him more...which sucks....

And this one is of Gabe and I singing "Drive" by Incubus. He is so quiet though, so I kept trying to shove the microphone in his face so you could here him.

Here's Ben and I dancing...and now you can all see why I love it so much.

And here is my attempt at the "Penguin 2-step" with Gabe. He's a lot of fun to dance with and incredibly smooth, as you'll see in the video...and the ending is the best.

So, advice, suggestions, opinions, etc....

Right now, I'm stumped.

Pay It Forward

Pay it forward

I got this off of Christy's family blog and thought it would be a fun challenge.
So here we go!

Pay It Forward
…..So, here’s how it works:
the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, some homemade goodies from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going (or copy and paste like I did). Then come back, let me know you’re going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your goodies! Please submit in an e-mail or on the comment, your address, if I don’t have it already. Remember that only the first 3 comments will receive a gift from me, so be quick! Have fun!

My two most hated holidays

Groundhog's day, and Valentine's Day.

Groundhog's day because when I was dating Ben Ashton for 5 yrs, and planned on marrying him, this was the day he dumped me, by saying he proposed to someone else, and figured "maybe" he should break up with me. JERK.

And Valentine's Day because, besides cards in Elementary School, I have never got a Valentine from a guy. I am always single for Valentine's Day, and I hate seeing everyone super happy and lovey dovey, and I hate shopping at stores to see pink plastered up and down the aisles, and I hate flowers getting delivered, singing Valentines delivered, I just despise all of it.

I conveniently get dumped before this holiday...I'm ALWAYS single during Valentine's Day, and it makes me sick. This year will be even better, the only person I'd want to spend it with will be spending it with someone else....better yet, he's be in town spending it with someone else....man, I wish he did go to Korea. This blows.

Advice

I got some good advice today, and I figured I needed to write it down before I forgot it.
So...here it is:

I was talking to my friend Jamie, and we got on the topic of the man who drives me insane, and this is how it went.

JAMIE:
that really sucks, he doesn't sound like a very good guy for you
you deserve someone who oogles over you, my dear

GINNY:
I know I do. sad thing is, when it's just me and him, he does...and then you get him around other people and he's a shape shifter....and I'm the idiot hoping he'll change...I just hope that I can move on, and when he's an idiot, his life falls apart, and he's depressed, I just hope I'm strong enough to not take him back....that'll be the hard part

it's just hard to walk away from 7 yrs of happy times....yeah, there have been bad ones too, but I wouldn't trade them in anyday, because when it comes to having that one person on my side, and the 3 am cry fests, and someone to pick me up when I'm at my lows, and someone who lets me be myself, Ben has always been number one.....which sucks...

JAMIE:
well then this all sounds self inflicted girly... other people are capable of providing that stuff for you too...

You just need to be brave enough to give someone else a chance to prove it

...A very profound and true statement...

GINNY:
yeah, but I'm the idiot that doesn't let them...because I always had Ben...yeah, I guess I'm just scared to give someone else that chance, because I'm afraid of being let down or forgotten, it happens quite frequently for me actually

JAMIE:
Me too, lower your expectations

...I'm not sure if "lower your expectations" is the best way to put that, but I do plan on changing them...I have to put faith back into people in general, which is hard because I have been hurt SO many times, I'm almost to the point of not trying anymore.

Like my recent catastrophe with Rob....but that's another story...

Brent

The cheesy smiling sunburnt one

Taken the night I met him

For those of you who were curious...here's a picture of the man who stole my heart this Christmas, and actually, out of all guys I've being seeing these days, this is also the one that I really wish it worked out with. So, this is Brent. I really liked him, and miss his company horribly...and if the timing was different, it probably would have worked out. :(

Ending of '08 vrs. Beginning of '09

So, it's been a while since I've updated, but a lot has happened.
Let's back up to the week of my birthday.
I went to Twin Falls for the day and spent time with my best buddy Erica, went to Ben and mine's waterfall and tortured myself, and spent a couple of hours talking to Val. She is great. I love having so many second moms that have all been amazing when it comes to advice...that is something that I was blessed with. Good friends. I have so many people I can turn to if my life ever falls apart...
Ah yes, moving on...while I was out of town, and ex of mine drove down to my house and planned on proposing to me. When I got back in town, I respectfully declined, and then later got in a fight with Ben about it. Lovely.
Moving on...Thanksgiving was eventful, I'll have to put a post about that with pictures...it rocked. I played noodle hockey with my cousins, and loved every minute of it.
So, then brings us to December. Since my birthday due to the fight with Ben, and my realization that he drove me insane, I didn't speak a word to him, and labeled him as "Do Not Answer" in my phone...which apparently was pointless, because he never called.
I guess the military keeps you busy, and so, he just disappeared...all the way until he came home for Christmas.
The original plan was to avoid him completely, but, when you've been in love with someone for as long as I have been in love with Ben...it was impossible. I told myself to stand my ground, but next thing you know we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together, he went to my cousins house for Christmas, got me the most amazing gifts...
Okay, so on a side note, I have to tell you about one of the gifts. So, Ben and I both wanted CTR rings for Christmas, because his was old, and I went from a size 8 ring to a size 6.5 - 7 ring, so mine didn't fit. So, ages ago, Ben asked, "Well, is there a particular design you want?" And I said, "No, just pick out whatever you think I'd like. I trust your judgement, and you know me better than anyone" ...so, I asked him if there was a certain type he'd like, and he said the same thing I did. So, it turns out, we both bought each other the same ring. He just got me the female version, and I got the male version....which goes on our long list of "random coincedences" which, anyone would see as obvious signs that we're perfect, but of course, Ben is a stubborn jerk.
Anyway, moving on....next thing you know I was back to cuddling under blankets with him, and spending every moment with him....something I told myself I wasn't going to do.
So, moving forward...Ben decides somewhere in this to pursue another girl, who has totally played him before, and I was left once again crushed, so, to spite him, I started seeing his roommate. First off, I have learned now that you shouldn't start dating someone to get back at someone. BAD MOVE.
So, things were going "okay" with his roommate, until I found out that he was "friends" with Ben's ex wife while I was sort of seeing him...needless to say, I learned my lesson.
Moving along, I also met this nice guy Brent somewhere in all of this, and went on some dates with him, and really liked him, but since I'm a sucker for guys with baggage, apparently I reminded him to much of his ex...so it didn't work.
So, to summarize so far, I've seen about 5 different guys from November to December in hopes of getting off the Ben thing, and I'm still stuck on it. ARGH. I'm totally kicking myself for it too.
So...in comes January. I spent New Years Eve with Ben's roommate...(before I realized he was a jerk) and since the new year began, I have been super sick, my doggie passed away, my uncle has skin cancer, and this stupid jerk who I went on a date with a couple of years ago wants to take me to court. (Quick Summary: the date ended bad. The cops busted in on a guy trying to rape me and beat the snot out of me...not pretty)
Well, this guy is now trying to take me back to court saying I attacked him. Nice right?
So, now, I'm single. Thank goodness. I'm SO DONE with guys and their jerkish ways. May be going to court, sick, missing my dog, trying to keep my uncle sane, and needing a vacation SO BADLY. Ah yes, and in a month, Ben leaves for Korea for a year. Which is a good/bad thing. Good because hopefully, after 7 years I can finally get over him and move on...not bloody likely, but there's hope....Bad because, I will worry about him so much...I don't like the idea of that much distance being between us. I barely survived the 4 months...a year is going to be alot. This would be so much easier if I didn't care so much....but I've taken on the role of the one that will always love and care for him, and have had that role for so long, that it's hard to walk away. It's like a mom watch their child go for their first day of school. You know they need to do it, and you know it will be good for them, but it still doesn't make you worry any less. Ugh.
So, there's my quick summary, and I'll have to put my holiday pics up soon.
Much love to you all.